I know this post missed American Thanksgiving, but I’m feeling grateful and to me there is no wrong time to say thank you.
If all goes well with my baseline ultrasound on December 20th, I am offiically 2 weeks away from starting to inject myself (Lupron flare first, then stims two days later).
My plan is to follow the needling suggestions (okay, rant) of Aging Baby Maker, a fellow AMA IVFer (thank you, ABM). Check out her needle rant, mid-post: http://agingbabymaker.wordpress.com/2013/09/14/needle-rant-and-updates-to-protocol/
This has been a long time coming. Our first IVF consult was in 2011 (oh to be only 40 again), but then we found out our goodbye lovin’ before I went away on a course had yielded what has been my only successful pregnancy (of 6) to date.
There are days when I wish I’d gone straight back to signing up for IVF at the start of this year, after the little miracle turned 1, in hopes we might have skipped the last three miscarriages from trying on our own. But then I think there must be a reason for all of this. And maybe those 3 losses would have happened anyway, but with a heftier fiscal price tag (the emotional one is the same, I expect, especially after you see your little one’s heart beating… and then you don’t).
Today, I’m just relieved that we are in the final countdown to getting this party started. I paid the final balance owing on the bill – $8,000 (gulp!) – yesterday so they’d order the Lupron and Puregon (why can’t I find anyone else in the AMA camp on Puregon?!?), price of which is as-yet-unknown.
And I am grateful, deeply grateful, that we can even do this. We have no insurance coverage for the IVF treatment (though I’m thankful I get drug coverage, amazingly). And the process is paining us financially, but it is not completely impossible. For that and for the LP, who doesn’t blink an eye over the cost so I don’t have any reason to feel guilty for being the driver of this bus, I am grateful. Thank you, sometimes-crappy jobs that while crappy pay enough that we can try this desperate measure. Thank you, LP, for being so awesome about it.
I am grateful that I will be busy with gobs of work at my sometimes-crappy job and with organizing and hosting a party for family and a few friends on the Sunday before we leave for IVF-land (we are travelling to our clinic). There will be no time to wallow, dwell, fixate, bargain, beat-up or unduly obsess. Thank you, job and party.
I am grateful to have stuck with the EFT, to be doing extra acupuncture this and next week and during stims, and to not be at my office during stims, retrieval and transfer. I will have to work remotely, but I am so glad I chose to take whatever grief doing so will bring me over having to trudge into the office during that time. Thank you, me.
And thank you, dear reader, for joining me on this journey.