Yesterday my workplace had a fundraiser raffle using items donated by the people in our office. All proceeds go to our local food bank. One of my colleagues had donated a framed print on metal of a photograph he took of this incredibly intricate tree. It took my breathe away not only for its beauty but because it captured how I’ve been trying to visualize (during IF-related meditations) the mind-body connection.
Then I read the title: Tree of Life.
That was it. I had to have it. Of course, so did dozens of my colleagues. I bought a number of tickets. More than I would normally buy for a single item. I put all of them on this one item (something I’ve never done before). But so did a dozen other people in my office.
I couldn’t attend the draw for fear that I’d take out whoever won the Tree of Life or start blubbering openly when it wasn’t me. I was confident that my name would not be drawn. However, I asked our Receptionist (whose desk is adjacent to the boardroom where the draw is held) to let me know if I won anything and I’d come downstairs (my office is on another floor). The LP had wanted this creepy painting and I’d dutifully put in tickets for it using money he’d given me (okay, I may have put one of them in the Tree of Life bucket). I figured, my luck, I’d win the painting.
I suppose you’ve figured out the ending. I wouldn’t be writing this if I’d lost, would I?
Serendipity seems to be alive and well in my life of late. Quite some time ago I bought a book by Colorado hypnotherapist James Schwartz, The Mind-Body Fertility Connection. I ordered it from Amazon after one of our three miscarriages this year. As is not atypical for me, I never read it. Until the past week. I started reading it and I’ve been devouring it with that “yes!” feeling, you know the one. The timing was perfect. I would not have gotten as much out of it had I read it before the EFT, the hypnotherapy I did during our last pregnancy (which I suspected in my heart was doomed but so desperately wanted to believe would succeed if only I did enough of the “right” things – what a trap that can be) or before the series of new meditations I’ve done this Fall or before I was staring our impending IVF cycle straight in the face and saying “hit me, I’m ready.”
Armed with my Tree of Life – a beautiful visual of my mind-body fertility connection – my EFT training (at which I am still a work-in-progress), the insurance coverage for the IVF drugs (now that they’ve put me on the most expensive gonadotropin, I can’t tell you how happy I am about that drug coverage since none of the procedures are insured), my extra acupuncture sessions this month and my faith in and enthusiasm to face the journey and not just the outcome, I feel fully equipped to do this.
Okay, IVF. Bring it on. I’m ready.