From Zebra Wisdom to Purple Turquoise

Yesterday’s transfer of our top contender of frozen DE embryos was picture perfect.  Thaw went well, embie looked awesome, I was chilled, I wore happy socks, I was on Bliss Mountain.

Speaking of pictures, allow me to introduce our 4AA embryo, currently shacking up inside this happy mama:

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I had acupuncture treatments immediately before and immediately after, on the same OR table on which I had the transfer.  I was so relaxed I declined the offer of a full or half dose of Valium to ensure I was calm and not fidgety during the transfer.  I got to watch on screen, I didn’t have to deal with meeting a new RE for the first time, I didn’t feel like a number… all in all it was a very different experience than my last own-egg transfer at our former clinic.

I spent a great deal of time doing meditations and saying prayers to a fertility goddess sculpture from Bali (my awesome acupuncturist sent me photos of a sculpture of this deity – the woman with many children is how she was described though as said awesome acupuncturist noted, there has to be a better name than that in the original language in which she was named!). I also had a nice, sunny 30-minute walk to the clinic before my first acupunture.

And, of course, it may have helped me relax knowing that I was wearing fun socks I bought just for this transfer:

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Finally, I had drawn the Zebra from my deck of Animal Spirit Guide cards on Monday night. The zebra helps us move beyond fear and have confidence in where we are going. Just the message I needed. Thank you, Zebra!

I was a little sad that the LP could not be there with me, but he was a ball of nerves that morning and later said I’d probably have needed the Valium if he had been there, vibrating away.  He is probably right about that.  This is part of what makes us a good team – knowing our own neuroses and how they impact each other!

I rounded out the day with an emergency trip to the pharmacy (new RE increased the micronized progesterone from one 200 mg dose per day at bedtime to two such doses, about 12 hours apart, to be continued until 12 weeks of pregnancy).  I like that they had enough confidence to prescribe and have the pharmacy fill the entire amount, as though they have no doubt I’ll be carrying little 4AA until then and beyond.  Since my insurance covers drugs only (no treatments), I was fine with filling the entire prescription now as well.  Our old clinic never banked on our ART treatments working out and only gave me drugs to get past beta hCG tests number one and two.

Speaking of which, first beta is next Tuesday, May 27th.  I’m presenting at a conference out of town that day so I’m not sure how this is going to work, but I’ll make it happen somehow even if I have to pay for my blood test upfront and get it reimbursed later.

I have no doubt I will be peeing on sticks in the meantime because… well, that’s just who I am.  I would like to tell you and myself otherwise, but I just don’t think I will comply with any requirement I might impose upon myself, so I won’t engage the charade.

What about the purple turquoise, you ask?

My incredibly supportive sister-in-law (the only family member who knows what we’re really doing here) sent me encouraging notes before and after transfer (I am so thankful for this support) and also suggested I do something special or whimsical for myself yeterday before I flew back home.  And so I did.  I found some jewelry designed by a Navajo artist and bought some earrings made of purple turquoise (supposedly it is made at the Kingman mine in Arizona and involves manipulation of “true” turquoise).  The earrings spoke to me because in addition to being quite striking visually, they contain the colours I see when I communicate with our spirit baby, Azulito.  A perfect ending to a perfect transfer day, I think. 

See for yourself:

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I am so in love with this little life inside of me.  Yes, already.  And I am officially (read: artificially) 20 days pregnant today and insisting that the universe do none of that “proven otherwise” business this time around.  I am pregnant and I’m staying that way until this baby pops out in early 2015.  ROAR!

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23 thoughts on “From Zebra Wisdom to Purple Turquoise

    • Thank you. The optimism is such a welcome relief from the doom and gloom with which I’ve entered every other TWW in the past year or so (the first 6 months of TTC #2 I was still hopeful and naive).

      Thank you for the crossed digits – they mean so much to me!

  1. Yay!! It’s so wonderful to meet you little Embryo! I have been thinking about you so much. I’m so happy everything went perfectly. And I LOVE your socks and those earrings are gorgeous! I have such a good feeling about this hon! I will be keeping everything crossed for you over the next week!

  2. I’m wishing you all the best! Your socks are so fun and the earrings are beautiful! I’m glad you have some good, supportive people in your life. ❤

  3. You are so amazing. Your energy is bright and beautiful. Reading about your experience brings a sense of calm to me. Looking forward to hearing all of the positives of this pregnancy journey. 🙂 (Love the sock and the earrings too! Beautiful purple!)

    • Wow, thank you. I’m very moved by your comments and kind of in awe, but so grateful that you are finding some calm in them.

      Tried to send you a note this morning but had “technical difficulties” (not human difficulties, they truly were machine-generated!). Will try again. Please know I’m thinking of you and sending a hug.

      • Thanks! I was fine until my Aunt emailed me to share her story of why she never had children. *cue the waterworks* Overall, I’m doing fine. And very much looking forward to your positive results. I always say each cycle one of us (at least) has to come out on top!

  4. From your head down to your toes, you’re positively glowing! I bet you’re marveling that your little bean is growing inside of you at this very moment. Your little embie looks so symmetrically, and beautifully perfect! Congratulations!!

    • Thank you so much. I am trying to visualize our little embie wriggling into my lining now as I type. Can’t wait for some good news next week. I feel seriously overdue for enduring good news!

      Hoping all is well and your milestone will pass so you can breathe more easily and enjoy the remaining months. Thinking of you.

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