I do not know whether to be worried or excited. I got up this morning and had uterine cramps noticeable enough for me to begin worrying. I shut that down fairly quickly, telling myself “hopefully it’s implantatation, baby is snuggling into my uterine lining”.
There is something magical about knowing what each day might mean in terms of early fetal development – that’s the upside of IVF. But there is also a certain amount of anxiety and stress that comes along with this knowledge. I know little 4AA could be implanting right now. Or s/he could be dying. Right now.
I won’t let myself think about that second option. It is not an option. (Did you hear me, Universe?)
Other than the cramping (which only lasted about 45 minutes or I stopped noticing it after that so it must have eased up at least), I feel the same way I always do when I’m on progesterone supplementation – bloated, tired and constipated. Sexy fun!
I’m trying to keep busy when I’m not meditating (in a concerted effort to un-busy my mind and body) and feeling pretty hopeful. Or I was until this morning. I’ve never had a successful IVF cycle so it’s hard to feel confident about this. I keep telling myself: This is different. And I’m praying it is.
Despite my worries and fear, I’m also sticking to my mantra. I am pregnant. Period. (Did you hear that, Universe?)
Please wish us luck. We are so dearly hoping and praying our lucky number is up this time.