So the good news of two (now three) nights ago has turned into
beta hell. Our clinic schedules first beta-hCG blood test post-FET at 7 days after a 5-day transfer. I took a digital FRER a few hours before the blood test. Positive.
I spent the day relieved and looking forward to my nurse’s call with the beta result. She called late and started with “congratulations your test was positive.” Then she said anything over 5 is positive and what we need to see now is the number going up.
Then I stupidly asked what the number was.
That is really low. Chemical pregnancy low for 12 days past ovulation (the natural cycle equivalent of 7dp5dt).
My mouth went dry. My heart sank. I was stunned but managed to ask if that was anywhere near the range they are looking for at 7 days post-FET. The nurse clearly struggled and after a long pause she tried to sound positive, but admitted it was low. Then she repeated “we always say anything over 5 is positive and we need to see the hormones increase so we will retest Thursday”.
I know betas have to start somewhere. I know it is early. But I also know that betas this low almost never yield viable pregnancies.
And now I want to curl up and die. Right after giving the fertility gods a killer throat punch.
*** UPDATE as of May 28, 2014 (see below)
The FRER digital HPT is negative with first-morning urine (supposed to have the highest concentration of hCG) and the traditional FRER HPT has an almost invisible test-line.
That’s it. I’m kicking God in the nuts personally. I’ve had it with this. My body is clearly killing babies. Why when all my repeat pregnancy loss tests come back negative???
I’m e-mailing our new RE and head nurse today with the progression of darkening positives from the weekend through yesterday morning and now today’s and asking for a what-the-heck conference ASAP. I want to kill anyone and everyone. So much for Ms. Positive and the Law of Attraction. The law of attraction can suck balls. And they better be sterile, damn it.
In short: I truly am cursed. Thanks for playing, folks.