The Art of Deep Breathing


Photo credit:  The Keep Calm-O-Matic

I am amazed at the difficulty I have had in the past week attempting to obtain a copy of my own records, records that I paid various Western medical professionals  tens of thousands of dollars to create and maintain.  I did not altruistically volunteer for some anonymous study in which I waived my right to ever receive copies of the test results obtained, the procedures performed, the findings observed.  No, I paid for this crap.  I paid handsomely, in fact.  Yet, despite having signed the appropriate releases and sweetly conveyed my reasonable requests I remain largely empty-handed.

I say “largely” because I did receive 7 pages today from my most recent fertility clinic, where we did donor egg IVF.  Don’t get excited.  Please.  The 7 pages included a copy of the release form I signed, copies of the two blood tests I did back home (results of which I already received) and copies of the recurrent pregnancy loss panel and karyotype testing results that I sent to the RE.  And nothing more.   What on earth would possess the nurse and administrative staff at this clinic to think that constituted a reasonable facsimile of “all of my records”?


I have asked specifically for a copy of all of the charting from my FET cycle and a copy of whatever RE #2 received from RE #1 (because so far RE#1 has issued radio silence in response to my repeated requests last week for “all of my records” from Clinic #1, where we did two cycles with injectables, an IVF and an IUI cycle in 2013-2014).  I don’t think I could be more specific.  I am still waiting.  In fact, as I penned this I was told that I would be waiting until tomorrow as the embryologist at Clinic #2 has gone home already.  It was 1:00 pm there when I got that e-mail!

As for the radio silence from Clinic #1, I am particularly annoyed but completely unsurprised.  I’ve sent two emails and left a voicemail message.  The one person in control of my records has not even acknowledged that I made the request(s).

Seriously, people?  It really is all about the money for you, isn’t it?  You have seen the writing on the wall.  It read “The buck stopped back there. And it is not coming back.”  And since then, you are no longer interested in me or my requests, are you?  No, I suppose not.

And folks wonder why those of us in shoes resembling mine become hateful towards the medical profession, particularly those in the business of grabbing cash from desperate individuals whose dream is to have a child (or another child, as the case may be).  I do not like to think of myself as easy prey.  But that is how I am feeling.

I also feel like throat punching someone at each of those two clinics.

<< Insert moment of deep breathing here >>

You were wondering about the title of this post.  Admit it.  Now you know.

I feel much better, how about you?

I don’t, actually.  Truth be told, I am grouchy grouch groucho pants.  But the deep breathing did help a little.  At least I think it may have unknotted my forehead somewhat.  I really need to stop that or I’ll be subscribing for Botox next.

Happy Monday, everyone!


12 thoughts on “The Art of Deep Breathing

  1. Oh the joys of dealing with the medical system! My favourite was when my husband tried to get his vaccination record from his birth province and they told him all those records are destroyed when you turn 18. Seriously??

    For what its worth, I wish you good luck dealing with both clinics….

  2. Ok, been there and done that–especially since we move around so much. My new policy is to obtain a copy of labs *at the office* during the appointment they are being discussed, or request a copy to be mailed if results were given over the phone. I have a 3 ring binder and a hole puncher. I always request my full medical records *before* ditching a doctor (like Dr. Diet) or moving away, because it is ALWAYS a damn hassle to obtain them after the fact. I learned this the hard way. Sorry you are getting the run around! Much love, XOXO

  3. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything else. So frustrating! These are your medical records, you have a right to them! I’m very disappointed in RE #2! I got that feeling too that they didn’t care about me after they got my money and it became apparent that I wouldn’t be doing any more treatments with them. It’s such a disappointment. I thought it was just me but guess not. I’m beginning to be sorry I ever gave his clinic a good recommendation! We put our trust in these people! It’s not right! Hope you get all your records without too much more run around. Hugs hon. Keep taking those deep breaths.

    • Thank you, my friend. Do not feel badly on my account for recommending RE #2. He actually authorized the release of records last week, almost immediately after I asked (though he ignored my previous e-mail – first time that’s ever happened however). As I see it, everyone has an ego and if I were ever fired by a client, I might have a hard time being gracious… I seem to be the one firing them instead of being fired so far (I wonder if that’s normal after 10 years? I think I should have been fired at least once in that time… lots of people fire lawyers… but I digress). My point is, don’t feel badly. It’s par for the course – they are all like this and most likely because it’s hard not to feel shunned when someone says (as I have, between the lines), “I don’t trust you or your recommendations and I want a second opinion.” No matter how nicely you word that or try to disguise it (lipstick on a pig?), it still is what it is.

      • Those are all very good points and it’s true, it never feels good to be fired. I think I’m just frustrated for you and also for me a little. I still love the RE, but no one at his clinic has bothered to follow up with me since my chemical pregnancy in March. They didn’t even followup to see if I was okay afterward which is weird to me since RPL is the reason I began seeing them to begin with. And they have no idea I’m pregnant now. It just feels strange given all the time I spent there trying to achieve this one goal. It really made me feel a bit let down by the whole process. Sigh…

        I really hope they get all the necessary documents together for you so you don’t have this headache to deal with anymore on top of everything else.

        • Thank you. You would laugh to know they sent me 3 more pages today. I had to ask again for all of the monitoring chart records. Sigh is right. It’s so disappointing and a clear reminder that we do not matter to them. I fully understand your sense of let down and I feel the same way.

        • That really is terrible. I’m laughing but it’s not really funny at all! Glad you’re able to move forward without all the info. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow!

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