Time for (Small) Changes

While I wait to hear back from various people about various things, I have taken to doing some more rearranging of the deck chairs on the Titanic.  For instance:

1.  I changed the subtitle of my blog to reflect our current reality.  For those of you who do not remember (who would?) it used to read “40-something adventures in IVF and trying to have another (living) child”.  That was the hopeful me.  The innocent or blissfully ignorant me.  I was also trying to warn readers who might be triggered to know I had a living child.  Forget the niceties, it’s all business here now (wait until you see my promised post about the RI report on my various immune issues).

2.  I have spent an inordinate amount of time reading and watching videos about reproductive immunological issues, treatments, arguments and counter-arguments.  My brain hurts but I feel better than I did when I knew less and was very confused and overwhelmed.  I try to look at it as an investment, much as I would when working with an expert for a case that were going to trial or in which I had to cross-examine another expert.  In those situations I rely on the expert, my Type A personality and my pride (who wants to look stupid in front of others by messing up complicated stuff?) to develop a certain working knowledge and vernacular to assist me in helping my client(s).  Here, I’m my client.  And my client’s counsel.  No, I am not in therapy for this.

3.  I updated my “About” and “Timeline” pages.  They needed it.

4.  I have sent an email asking Mel at Stirrup Queens, keeper of the world’s most comprehensive IF-related blogroll to move my blog to the “Diagnostics Room” from the “Loss Room”.  If I am going to take the time to study reproductive immunology as a hobby now, I may as well try to share the wealth of knowledge (I said knowledge, not understanding, though I am working on it) with others.  I hope this assists other women in wasting less time, money and emotional and physical health than I did.  I don’t know when Mel will get around to that, but I trust she will eventually.

And that, my friends, is it for today.  Thank you all for your support and kind words lately.  I truly appreciate every single one of you and your kindness.

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10 thoughts on “Time for (Small) Changes

  1. I can only imagine how hard it is to see your blog move from diagnostics to loss. This all just seems so unfair – we spend so much time grieving our lost babies, dreaming of a different reality, researching medical stuff that in a perfect world we wouldn’t car to know about, etc. I know I’ve said this before and am probably starting to sound like a broken record, but damn it’s hard and this is all such bullshit!

    • Yeah, it is hard. Moving from loss to diagnostics is a little rough although the answers do help me make sense of our loss history. And being in either category it is not nearly as difficult as holding onto the belief that there will be a happy ending for me. I want that happy ending for all of us. Some days it seems so far away, as you well know. Thank you for your comment and support.

  2. OMG, I am am coming off a blog hiatus and now my head is spinning. But if anyone in the world can serve as a meaningful resource for women who have to endure the horror of dealing with obnoxious and dismissive Reproductive Endocrinologists, it’s you. I’ll admit though, right now – as I often am – I’m kind of furious, seething with rage, towards every RE in the world who has shrugged their shoulders with a flippant “it’s your age” to the women who have lived the hell of recurrent pregnancy loss.

    • Yes. Today our RE said “I truly recognize the uniqueness of your situation and understand the need for alternative treatments.” I appreciate that even if he is unwilling to get invoked in any such treatments. But it is, as my mother used to say, mustard after the meal.

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