To Infinity and Beyond!

Today is officially Cycle Day 1 (CD1) of my FET cycle with Dr. Braverman. The intralipids infusion, ultrasound and three chats with Dr. Braverman yesterday all went well. The only hiccups were my uncooperative veins (I have two instead of one puncture sites but that’s typical for me with IV attempts), a taxi incident and my period being ambivalent about showing up yesterday morning.

Dr. Braverman cleared me to start all other meds on Day 3, which will be Monday. Unless his nurse fails to get me my meds calendar for Monday morning in which case she sad I will start on Day 4. I’m a little nervous about this and will be asking Dr. B if it is a cause for any concern today when I report today as CD1.

I am officially excited. And a little afraid of things going wrong. The balance is tipped toward excited. Thank goodness.


29 thoughts on “To Infinity and Beyond!

    • Thank you. I sometimes cannot tell when the waves crest whether they are excitement or fear. Or both. I’m calling them slightly anxious excitement. I still feel a bit undone without a calendar but Dr. B just sent me a note saying he will try to ensure I get that for Monday morning. It helps they are two hours ahead for something like this. Thank you for all of your support and hope. You’ve convinced me to remarry hope after our bitter divorce this summer. šŸ˜‰

      • So happy you and hope are coming back together!! šŸ™‚
        And, I get the excitement/fear combo – I’m holding on to the excitement right now, and putting my full focus there. But, I do know fear exists in all of this – what if Dr. B cannot figure out the problem? What if Dr. B figures it out and tells us we have no hope, and this just marks the end of our journey (I don’t really know that I’m ready to actually stop)? What if we have more miscarriages after spending our savings? The list keeps going, and probably akes me appear slightly paranoid and crazy. But for right now, I’m refusing to focus on them. I need hope, so I’ll deal with a giant crash if hope ends up being a traitor in the end.

        • Let me be candid. I don’t think you guys have no issues. I don’t think Dr. Bs team will find nothing. I don’t believe it’s likely he will say you can’t have children. You know I am not a fan of blowing smoke and I would not say this if I didn’t have some confidence in what I’m saying. He offers a refund of two thirds of the pricey testing fee because I’m sure they almost never or never find nothing. It will more likely come down to the degree of risk you are prepared to assume in accepting his treatment recommendations, whether you have coverage for the drugs that doesn’t have a short lifetime cap assuming you want to keep TTC with natural cycles, whether you can get a monitoring and prescribing doc in your hometown, etc. I really feel quite hopeful about your situation and the supports you have around you from licensed professionals (leaving out your RE for the moment). I have high hopes for you, in short. I’m no Nostradamus and no MD but I’ve got s good feeling, my friend.

        • Thanks! Funny enough, rationally I completely agree with everything you’ve pointed out here. But, in my opinion, fears are not based in rational thinking, hence why I refuse to focus on them at the moment.
          And, honestly, we wouldn’t be paying to see him if we didn’t believe he’d figure it all out. šŸ™‚

        • I don’t know if you remember that I actually had a terrible nightmare of him saying I would be best to give up at the start of the week in which I finally got our report and recommendations. I would have spent the money to find that out over the alternative of keeping on trying, losing lives and destroying my health. But the point is that you’re right. Fears are irrational. You are wise to shut them up. I have a hard time doing that. Thankfully Dr. B and his staff seem used to that and have been very patient with me and my sea of worry so far.

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