The Madness Continues and a Word of Thanks

The plan was hatched. The intentions were set. The flights and hotel accommodations were booked.  And then life came along and got in the way of my best laid plans.  Again.

The LP will not be joining me in New York for the transfer of (I hope and pray) our last two embryos, Gertrude and Alice, on Tuesday.  The transfer has been scheduled for the afternoon.  That was a small hiccup I did not anticipate and although Dr. Braverman told me that science says there would be no problem at all with me flying back home Tuesday night, his gut (and mine) say wait one more day.  I left home Thursday last week and today I accepted that I will  not be back – and I will not see the Miracle Toddler or the LP again – until Wednesday evening.  So it is.

The later-than-anticipated transfer time meant the LP would be travelling back solo (as would I) as he has a work commitment he cannot change further (he already changed it to be able to come to the transfer next Tuesday).  Oh well.

Then something much more serious happened.  The LP injured his back very severely.  Even on muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatory medications, he can barely move.  This has never happened before although he has been having muscle spasms in his back this year.  The suspected source to date has been stress and the strain of a desk job under high tension.  And possibly a lack of consistent exercise although the LP does curl and plays hockey nightly with the Miracle Toddler when not disabled (no hockey today or last night!).

The prospect of air travel and sitting in airport lounges for 8-9 hours on Monday and the same on Tuesday night with a severely injured back makes me wince.  The LP was determined to come notwithstanding this latest obstacle but today we both agreed that this was a bad long-term plan for his physical and mental health and not likely to make me feel very good about asking him to be at the transfer with me.

In other news, the Progesterone In Oil (PIO) is kicking my behind (literally, because you know that is how I roll).  Dr. Braverman’s nurse taught me a new trick about heating it immediately before drawing and administering it and so far this has meant no lumps or bumps because the oil is thinner and moves more easily as I inject it and after having done so.  I don’t so much mind the needles going in.  All of that I can manage and would not even blink or complain.  The pain I have for about 24 hours afterward at the injection site on the other hand… that is not pleasant.  I feel as though I walked into a sharp object and gave myself a mother of a bruise on each flank.  I will take the PIO over Prometrium any day of the week but I hope I find some better spots on those flanks soon or I will be a walking wincing wimp in short order.

On the eve of Canadian Thanksgiving, I am struck by how much I have for which to be thankful.

In the present moment, I have been truly moved by some phenomenal events so far on this week’s stint in NYC.  First, I met a friend and fellow RPL sufferer from Canada and her partner for whom I have developed a lasting affection.  Together we briefly met with another blogger who happened to be attending a conference in NYC this weekend.  That was intense.  I don’t think I could have attended that conference.  Yowza!

I have been awed by the kindness and generosity that some truly amazing women in New York have shown me these past few weeks.  I am humbled and choking up a little as I write to say how honoured I am to have met you.  These amazing women who I did not know a few short months ago have behaved as true, long-time friends do.  You have checked in on me, met me to do things and welcomed me into your homes.

Friends, you know who you are.  Please also know that you mean so much to me and I am so grateful for you helping me be and feel safe, comfortable, “normal” and less lonely in this totally abnormal, often lonely and anxiety-provoking process.  What you have done and are doing means so much to me.  Thank you.

And to everyone who has wished me well, followed along, worried beside me, shared this journey and hoped as I have hoped for you that things will one day work out as we long for them to do: thank you.  A toast to each and every one of you, my friends.  Please accept my heartfelt thanks.  We truly are an amazing group of female creatures.  Yay us.  Yay you.


17 thoughts on “The Madness Continues and a Word of Thanks

  1. So sorry the LP can’t make it for the transfer and that he is having back ailments.

    I am wishing you all the best with this transfer !! July babies !!!

    Please do share your tricks for heating and administering the PIO. Not looking forward to butt injections AT all ! 🙂

  2. You know I wish you the absolute best and I am so desperately hopeful for you – in fact I’m focusing all my hope on you right now, as my personal hope feels so far away that I cannot bring myself to think about all of it right now. Sending you live and looking forward to breakfast!!

    • Thank you so much – for everything. It was so great to see “Monk’s” (Tom’s) and connect with you. I know the future looks dark but things may turn around. You have had a terrible time with pregnancies but still have had some serious good fortune with doctors (excluding the RE) where you are so I’m staying hopeful for you two. Huge hugs and great big thanks for your support. I will “have fun” with Gert and Al on Tuesday. 😉

  3. I’m so sorry about your LP’s back and that he can’t make it to the transfer. I would be so upset. And you must miss your little peanut like crazy. But maybe–as much as it’s less than ideal–it’s meant to be that he can’t make it. This is just between you and Azulito now. Other than your doctor and the nurses of course, there will be nothing to distract you from your connection to each other. Does that sound like crazy talk? I don’t know, that’s just what came to mind as soon as I read your post. Hoping hard for you on Tuesday. Come on Gertrude and Alice, you can do it!

  4. I’m so sorry to hear that LP can’t be at the transfer and that he’s hurt his back. 😦 I hope that things go smoothly and you’ll be able to return to much happiness at home. Wishing you all the very best. Much love and many hugs!

  5. Life has a sick sense of humour doesn’t it? Well I hope LP feels better soon- might be time to see a chiropractor maybe. Gotta get back to playing toddler hockey! I too, am so thankful for the blogosphere. You are not alone on Tuesday- you’ve got a kazillion followers thinking of you and welcoming Gertrude and Alice in spirit.

    • Thank you so, so much. Gert, Al, the LP and I are so grateful for your support. The LP goes to massage and acupuncture for his back which is usually tense but not spasming like this. We’re both a little scared of chiro.

      • There are different techniques in chiro. It’s not all cracking. There are a lot of gentler techniques too. Chiros spend 4+ years specializing in the spine and musculoskeletal system, so they can at least provide a proper diagnosis, which will guide whatever treatment you decide to do.

  6. I’m sorry the LP can’t be there with you for the transfer hon and I really hope his back feels better soon! I have been crazy busy the past few days and haven’t had time to get on here and send you a note until now, but I have been thinking about you a lot and sending you many prayers for Tues.

  7. A friend of mine gave me a cream (also comes in gel) called Arnicare. It’s a homoeopathic blend. Anyway, I used it on my ass post PIO and it seriously diminished the pain. It’s also great for bruising. I’ve been using it on my blood draw and IV bruises and they are pretty much gone 3-4 days later. You can buy it at Shoppers Drug Mart or health food stores – in SK, it’s Old Fashioned Foods. Hope everything goes smoothly next week. I always think you are so brave to endure everything solo for the benefit of your family. Sending lots of well wishes your way. ❤

    • Thank you so much, my friend. I have arnica cream at home and will definitely be trying that! The pain is muscular so that might just do the trick. I truly appreciate the good wishes especially knowing how hard these past weeks have been and are for you.

  8. Poor LP..i hope that he feels better and that you have all the angels and Azulito (and a friend) with you to help make the transition easier for Gertrude and Alice. Isn’t life crazy that way?! We noticed that we had the craziest, most hectic week full of little blips the week that we had our 5DET and Noah and Levi were conceived…maybe this will actually be the calm before the storm?!?! Life has a funny way of working itself out. Best of luck..i’ll be having everything crossed for you!

    • Thank you so, so much for sharing your experience. That’s very reassuring. I hope you are having a great long weekend (I’m assuming you don’t have to work tomorrow but just realized that may not be the case). Next time I’m out if it’s for a long time like this I hope I can come see you, your zoo and family!

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