Let the Nail Biting Begin

I am officially pregnant. So said Dr. Braverman late yesterday in an e-mail that came after one from my IV nurse at his office saying she was sorry but the lab here back home would not release results from my blood tests yesterday (beta-hCG, progesterone, TSH because of my history of sharp spikes in early pregnancy) to Dr. Braverman’s office.

Dr. Braverman’s e-mail was a welcome surprise. Here’s the skinny from a very early lab visit on 6 days past 5-day transfer (6dp5dt):

hCG: 62
Progesterone: 242
TSH: 1.72

The TSH is up from 1.10 but Dr. B is happy about all of these results. The LP and I are too. I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop but I’ve bit the bullet and booked flights to NY to get the immune testing done (I will be having Dr. Braverman monitor this pregnancy – what’s another $3,000 plus lab costs of likely $1000 – $1500 once or twice more at this point?). I need to get my next Intralipid IV done on Friday and I’m hoping the blood draws can all be done Thursday.

Early tomorrow morning (I was at the lab for 6:00 a.m. yesterday and will be again tomorrow) I will go for beta #2. I am anxious but working hard to restore the calm confidence I had after Gertrude and Alice were transferred from catheter to womb last week Tuesday. Fingers crossed, prayers on overdrive, acupuncture today (thank you, T!) and the hypnotherapy recording and Circle & Bloom meditations are all on the go.

This morning I wanted to let the spirits of both embryos know that even though I know it’s likely only one has made it or will survive, I love them both very much. I also wanted to honour their voices in all of this. And so I asked for some inspiration to do their bidding with more pastels. Here is what they brought me:

FullSizeRender (1)

I am so incredibly grateful for the outpouring of love and support you have all shown me in this past week. I sure hope my immune system does not let me and all of you down in the coming days and week – you’ve all shown such tremendous faith and hope. Thank you so much.

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35 thoughts on “Let the Nail Biting Begin

  1. OMG, OMG, OMG!!! This is wonderful! I’ve been so anxious for an update from you! Wishing you well, and I will be on pins and needles for your next update. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you. Move over, my set of pins and needles hurts.;-) How are you? Please tell me that baby has given you some respite and popped out already? I’ve been thinking of you so much and hoping all is well and you’re not too miserable.

      • Whoa, how did i miss this? So sorry! I am uncomfortable. (Understatement!) but i am hanging in there. I am still hoping baby will come a little early but as i write this i am 37w1d so she or he can wait a bit longer. Though i do now have a cold to boot, so thats fun. Thanks so mich for asking!

  2. The peacock is a beautiful creature…Have you looked up the meaning? I have a peacock feather on my arm because of what it represents… In Hinduism the Peacock is associated with Lakshmi who is a deity representing benevolence, patience, kindness, compassion and good luck. Similar to Lakshmi, the Peacock is associated with Kwan-yin in Asian spirituality. Kwan-yin (or Quan Yin) is also an emblem of love, compassionate watchfulness, good-will, nurturing, and kind-heartedness. It is also a symbol of resurrection and rebirth. I’m glad Azulilto made it to you…this post filled my eyes with tears and made my day. I’m so happy…

    • Wow. I am blown away. I did not know any of that about the peacock. Thank you *so* incredibly much for opening my eyes to this, I will definately be doing some research. Yes, Azulito is with me – that is VERY clear to me right now – but I don’t know whether his/her compadre has come along for the ride. Thank you for being so real and generous in your comments and posts. *You* just made *my* day!

  3. I am so happy for this news! My first beta was also 62! Praying those numbers double! It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling more anxiety now. I felt it between every blood test and ultrasound too. How can you not after all you’ve been through, but I am so HOPEFUL for you and this pregnancy hon. Sending you so many prayers for your beta tomorrow and your upcoming trip to NY!

    • Thank you so, so much. Yay – lucky 62! What dpo were you then? I’m scared… but I’m trying to believe. I feel this presence and I need to take a deep breath and hold onto that hope, too. One day at a time here…

      • I’m not exactly sure because I wasn’t tracking my cycle as much as I usually did, but I’m thinking it was around 10 or 11 dpo, so right around the same point as you! I took it (and am still taking it) one day at a time too. It’s all we can do. Praying so hard for you!

    • I usually feel a lot of rail travel while in NY. πŸ˜‰ It feels as though I’ve spent almost as much time there as at home over the past 6 weeks. I really hope tomororw brings some reassurance and an end to betas; I do not want to regret having booked these flights since I waited until they were outrageously expensive!

      Thank you for your support and caring.

  4. Congrats to you! I’m keeping you in my thoughts during these very exciting times. I’m so happy that you’re finally getting a treatment plan that is appropriate for you, and that is promising. Wishing you the best. Hugs to both you and LP.

  5. Happy, happy news! I know beta waiting is never a fun game but I pray it continues to stay on its upward trajectory and that you are filled with calming reassurance that you and your budding little ones are in the right hands with dr B. You are in my thoughts constantly.

    • It is always *so* good to hear from you, my dear cycle sister. We are both going to be on beta watch tomorow. I am hoping and praying both of our numbers continue that trajectory and that this all works out well. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, you are in my thoughts and prayers, too.

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