Ultrasound #1 at 6 weeks 1 day

Yesterday I took yet another red-eye trip from Western Canada to New York City. I rented a car and drove to Woodbury, Long Island and met a friend and fellow Braverman patient for lunch. Lunch, my friend and her husband were delightful.

Then I drove to the bank to get cash to pay for my Intralipid infusion and went into Dr. Braverman’s office. By this point I had slept about 2.75 hours on a plane. I was beyond exhausted and my throat was hurting in the kind of way that left little doubt that I will be sick before long. In this fragile state I had decided not to ask for my ultrasound to be done a day early.

My nurse had other plans when she found out the LP could not come to the Saturday ultrasound today. Before I knew it she shuttled me into an exam room and said Dr. Braverman would be right in to do my ultrasound before the Intralipid infusion. I had no time to think or do much beyond strip from the waist down and fervently plead with powers greater than me for some good news.

Please let this time be different.

I was trembling something awful. Tears were leaking out of the corner of each of my eyes. I shook so much – despite every effort to lie still – that Dr. Braverman asked if he had hurt me and if I was okay apart from the obvious anxiety. He told me not to panic if he did not speak right away as he looked around. I cannot tell you how grateful I was for that caveat because it allowed me a moment to inhale and accept that it would be a few minutes before I has any conclusive news.

That is not what happened.

I looked over my right shoulder at the sonogram screen and the first thing I saw was a clearly visible gestational sac with a clearly visible yolk sac inside it. As I registered my first thought – there is only one – and felt a piercing sadness register in my heart, I saw that magical Rocky Mountain graphing line spread across the screen.

“There is the heartbeat. That is what you told me you wanted to see today, right?”

I think it took me several seconds to digest this. Then came tears and my brilliant and incredulous response: “That is BABY’S heartbeat?”

Next we got to hear it. That beautiful, melodic chuh-chuh chuh-chuh sound. I wiped away tears so I could see the screen. 122 beats per minute. At 6 weeks 1 day. Dr. Braverman said we were looking for 90-110 in the first part of 6 weeks so 122 was fantastic. On top of that, Azulito measured a day ahead – 5.4 mm or 6w2d.

In the other good news department, my uterine blood flow was perfect and my blood tests from 2 weeks ago indicate, in Dr. Braverman’s words, “a textbook perfect response” to the cocktail of immune medications I have been taking. Although he acknowledged that I have a long way to go and it is very early yet, all of my results read as a whole together with this first ultrasound are reassuring. He was very pleased.

He asked if I wanted to redo this performance and video tape it for the LP. Of course I did! After a moment of awkwardness while we navigated removing the dildo cam, me trying to discreetly cover my behind with the paper sheet as I leapt off the examining table, grabbed my phone, leapt back up and tried not to go through my knees (which had turned to rubber at some point in this process), the video recording was underway. Chuh-chuh chuh-chuh chuh-chuh is immortalized in video. Amen.

Azulito has become a film star before his or her second month birthday.

I have never in my life hugged a doctor or felt any inclination to do so. When we ended this visit, however, I told Dr. Braverman I was going to hug him instead when he extended his hand and said “congratulations”. To his credit he did not give me one of those awkward stranger hugs replete with uncomfortable pats on the back. It was a big, warm hug and he even rubbed my back when a sob involuntarily (but thankfully quietly) escaped. I suddenly felt very self conscious and promptly made it all business again (serves me right for hugging my doctor, that’s so unlike me!) and said thank you for getting us this far.

And so it is. Azulito lives. I hope this remains true for a very long time.

Thank you all for believing, hoping, supporting and awaiting anxiously alongside me. I am so very grateful.


67 thoughts on “Ultrasound #1 at 6 weeks 1 day

  1. I’m so ecstatic for you my friend!!! Textbook perfect is what we want and you got it! I pray that it’ll be the same for the rest of this journey to bring this baby home.

    • Thank you so very much. In 10 pregnancies I can honestly say I have never had a textbook perfect anything until yesterday. Even the MT’s pregnancy was fraught with terrifying ultrasound complications until the third tri and then cholestasis. As an example, I blurted out to Dr. B yesterday that this was my first early ultrasound with no SCH (sub chorionic hematoma – bleeding in the uterus). Here is to #10 being different in a good way!

  2. I am so happy for you, I usually follow quietly, but this time I needed to say God bless you and Azulito. That many many good news come to you in the next 34 weeks! 🙂

    • It is usually a mixed blessing for me. Of the three times I’ve seen one on early scans only one ever persevered. I have a good feeling about this one and hope that feeling proves true. Thank you so much for your caring and comment.

  3. Such fantastic and exciting news. I will be honest I had tears in my eyes reading this wonderful update… Enjoy this special moment and feel better. 😊

  4. I know im having maybe more feelings than usual but this just brought me to tears! Hallelujah! Azulito lives! Oh friend, this is so very very wonderful! I have so much hope for you and that sweet strong miracle inside you, heart beating away.

    • Thank you *so* much. Your emotion has sparked my own – yesterday I was in shock and a little sad and just so exhausted but today it feels real. Azulito has tried so many times to come home. I hope so much this is it.

  5. I am so happy reading this! Continuing to pray for you and Azulito! Wishing for a continued perfect and uneventful pregnancy hon.

  6. Omg I don’t even know what to say! Every ultrasound I hold my breath until I confirm the heartbeat, but there is nothing like the feeling of “passing” the first ultrasound–that felt monumental! I’m so teary-eyed-happy for you! ❤ XOXO

    • Thank you MLACS. Another autoimmune mama said to me today that when you have lost the heartbeat you’d seen and heard before it steals all your confidence. My goal is to have faith that this one won’t disappear even when my confidence is lacking. One day at a time. I really hope my doctor agrees to the weekly scans under the circumstances. I hope you and the menagerie are doing well.

  7. Like so many others, I read this beautiful entry through tears. Your baby has the spirit of her wombmate sister to help her through the next 9 months — congratulations on this amazing milestone. Your body seems to be really responding to Braverman protocol and I’m so hopeful that it means this will be your miracle, issue-free pregnancy. I’m due in next couple of weeks and I’ve been thinking of your little girl as I prepare to usher mine into the world. Huge hug to you.

    • Thank you so very much. I can only hope my body continues as it has – one big worry is my immund system developing an adaptive response to the meds though so far there is no evidence of that. It remains a risk so I will without hesitation be spending the money to have Dr. Braverman keep monitoring my immune system and progress.

      I cant wait to hear about your little girl’s arrival. It will be a busy, happy and exhausted holiday season at your home!

  8. Awesome, awesome news. I can remember those moments a few months ago. Sheer relief and disbelief. I never take for granted those beautiful heartbeats, even now. Love and prayers!

  9. Hello! I have been following your blog for a while now but have been unable to see your posts (for some reason my computer will not ever load your blog’s layout) but unless you have changed it, it seems to work on my phone! I just read a few of your posts about your journey and this made me cry. I am currently in the process of being tested for immune issues and it is so nice to see that you have had a successful outcome although it was an extremely long and hard journey. Congratulations and I’ll be following!

    • Thank you so much for your very kind words. If I can answer any questions or otherwise be a support to you please feel free to email me. Thanks for the heads up about the posts not loading. I will contact WordPress and ask about that. All the best with your testing!

      • That would be amaaaazing! I feel like noone really has gone through the process (i have found one forum from Australia of ladies dealing with the same Immunologist) so it’s hard to know what is going on. We don’t know if this actually is our issue but after our first embryo transfer I developed a rash that was an immune reaction to something (possibly the embryo) and we have never received a positive pregnancy test although we have good embryos (originally had MFI). It’s really weird and Doctors keep telling us to keep tossing the coin but that just feels weird. I’ll make sure I update when I get the results back though, I might need your expert advice on what it all means! 😉 Thank you 🙂

      • Ok So i just looked on my computer, and it is doing the same thing 😦 I have screen shotted the screen to show you but it’s almost like it has been cut in half? Do you have a wordpress email ?

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