I was supposed to be flying to New York Monday night for immune panel testing to monitor how my body is responding to this pregnancy and to meet with and have another ultrasound done by Dr. Braverman on Tuesday. On Sunday night those plans changed.
I am now booked to fly to NYC on February 5th and come home on the 6th. I am scheduled to see an Immunologist at home on February 2nd and a Perinatologist on February 4th. Next week will be a week of medical appointments. I am more than a little anxious but trying to have faith that things will be okay. Somehow. Someday.
Today I got the report from last Wednesday’s ultrasound. Mostly promising news except the doctor diagnosed placenta previa. This could change as I was only 17 weeks then. I hope it does. That’s one more potential source of complications we could do without.
I am looking forward to dropping from 60 mg to 40 mg of Prednisone after Wednesday. I was thinking I would taper to 50 mg then 40 mg but Dr. Braverman in the past said I could just drop. Anyone with Prednisone experience who has thoughts on this please consider sharing. I would be most grateful. I’ve always tapered in the past.
I have been doing a great deal of soul searching over the past few days. I am not ready to write about it but I mention it because it feels important and I have shame about not being a good partner to the LP over the past two years and especially the last year of our lives. I need to own that feeling and my shame and give it voice so I can start to look more candidly at where I may have resistance and where he might to this dream we have been chasing for so long. I also want to heal the wounds that this journey has left on each of our hearts. To do that I need to look at where things may not be as they ought to be. Cryptic, I know. Bear with me. This stuff is not easy and took me a little by surprise (but was no surprise at the same time, if that makes any sense?).
On that note, I thank each and every one of you for being so kind and generous and loving in response to my last terrified post. Your compassion, support and encouragement mean more than I will ever be able to convey adequately. Thank you. So much.