Persistent Pain, I Hate You

I’m at the hospital. Labour and Delivery. Again. 

I am here to get this persistent and at times debilitating pain in my upper left abdomen, just below and behind my ribcage, checked out. I have not been able to sleep more than 30 to 60 minutes at a time the past several nights (and earlier today when I desperately tried napping) before the pain wakes me up. Tylenol does nothing for it. 

There is something about constant pain and sleep deprivation that ribs me of my emotional stability and repeatedly reduces me to tears or near-tears in a flash. I feel like a lousy parent because I can’t do much with the MT and have no energy or endurance when (understandably) he is frustrated and disappointed. He was so sweet today, playing by himself and picking me a gazillion dandelions to cheer me up (I am allergic to dandelions according to my last immunologist but whatever, these are still yellow and not spewing their pestilent pollen). I was looking forward to taking him out today. That did not happen. 

I’ve seen the Resident on duty (who is very kind and remembered me from my first of these three visits to L&D back at 20 weeks) and she has said she is not too sure what to do with me as the only risks from where this pain is are blood clot (not likely since I’m on Lovenox), lungs (they checked my oxygen saturation as step one to rule that out – it was 97% – and are waiting on ordering a chest X-ray as some radiation does pass to baby), spleen and otherwise musculature.  

In Chinese medicine the spleen channel is associated with excema around the eyes (the return of which about 5 weeks ago necessitated my going back on prednisone). I wonder if there is anything to that?

I have been poked and palpated (ouch!! on the left side), had blood drawn and expressed my reservation about the X-ray unless it’s strongly recommended. If platelets are low I will likely need an ultrasound to look at the spleen. The Resident said it is very unusual for a mom to develop a spleen issue during pregnancy, however. Not impossible but unlikely. May I not be the statistical minority once again (cholestasis, which led to the MT’s emergency induction, is also a rare occurrence). 

For now we wait and see. 
Being the mystery patient kind of sucks.  At the same time, I suppose it’s better than being told there is something seriously wrong. The Resident was reassuring as well, saying that since I’m almost 34 weeks now even if something requires that Azulito/a arrive earlier than scheduled, we may not even need steroids for baby’s lungs. 

The LP and MT have been waiting for me nearby but I can’t see them. I wish they were here in this sterile room with me. I miss them and I feel a little stupid for being here as the unexplained case (again).  

My nurse, while clearly skilled, is not pleasant.  I hate drawing the chilly nurse who leaves me feeling disbelieved, as though I am a hypochondriac of a pain-wimp (I’m neither). I don’t think people with that mindset or who exude they attitude should be in this profession (or at least should not work in L&D). If I were in charge…

Anyway.  Here I am.  In the hospital. Uncomfortable. Sleep deprived. And hating on this mystery pain in my upper left quadrant.  Curse you, pain. You suck. 

As I was about to sign off the Resident returned and said the OB on call (who did my lady D&C) said we need the chest X-ray to rule out a lung issue. The Resident gave me stats on the risk and I have signed the consent. Now I wait for that and the blood test results to come back. 

Meanwhile, Azulito/a has been busy busy busy. That is the good news in all of this. 

Fingers crossed that we get some answers and a way to let me sleep before this little person makes a long-awaited arrival. 


11 thoughts on “Persistent Pain, I Hate You

  1. Oh girl. I hate it that you are in so much pain but don’t know what exactly is going on. Having pain and not being to sleep is the worst. Hang in there. I hope they can find some answers and relief for you very very soon.

  2. Please do not feel stupid! I am so glad you’re there. It’s way better safe than sorry. I hope they can at least give you some stronger pain meds. Now that you are 3rd tri, hopefully they can use something more high octane than Tylenol. Eff Tylenol!

  3. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture and I am sorry that you at currently suffering. I hope Azulito/a stays put, but at least when I had my girls around the same time, there were no steroids and they were born on room temperature. But this will not be an issue for two! I am sending you love, strength and the hope of sleep.

  4. Oh sweetie, this is just so unfair to you and little Azulito/a. Honestly, I’m desperate for you to be given a break already!! I hope they figure out the cause and they can rectify it without causing you and Azulito/a any additional pain or discomfort. Sending you love my friend – if you need anything, you know how to reach me.

  5. That pain sounds absolutely awful. I hope the X-Ray will provide some answers and you can be on the road to relief ASAP. I hope Azulito/a keeps cooking just a little longer (3 weeks, right?) but If baby needs to come early, 34 weeks is awesome. A friend of mine delivered at 35 weeks and had zero NICU time. Huge hugs. You will be on my mind.

  6. I’m so sorry you are still dealing with random health issues instead of being able to enjoy these next few weeks. Praying that it’s nothing serious and that they can control the pain and get you through these next few weeks without incident. Xoxoxo

  7. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re in pain still. 😦 I hope that they can figure out what is going on and that you get some pain relief and rest. You have to do what is best to take care of yourself and I know your family understands. You continue to be in my thoughts and I am sending lots and lots of positive, healing energy and love your way. ❤

  8. Oh goodness girl!! I am so sorry! I hate not knowing answers! And I am praying for you. Praying for the pain to leave immediately. And praying for the doctors to have wisdom. Hugs! Xo

  9. Oh no that’s terrible to hear that your in such pain. You have been through so much arrived. I hope that they find out what’s causing this pain so you get some good sleep because baby comes. Prayers for pain to go away and sleepy time.

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