As the LP and I were driving to pick up the boys from their care provider yesterday we heard an ominous thud on the passenger side of my vehicle shortly after I turned a corner onto a busier two-lane residential street.

I stopped. I looked behind me. A blonde mid sized dog – looking terrified and hunched over – was standing up in the middle of a fairly busy residential street. Cars were coming in both directions. She was frozen, the proverbial deer in headlights. The cars stopped. She began moving. I pulled ahead so I could stop my car safely off the road and immediately ran back.

I had not seen her. Nor had the LP. She hit the vehicle on the side, though there is no damage to the car.

When I ran back I saw a man in a big pick up truck with a mixed breed dog in the back seat with his window open. I asked if the dog was his. She was.

I burst into tears and said I was so sorry, we had not even seen her coming. He said “I know. She got off her leash. I know.”

He asked me to wait right where I was and see if she came that way. I said yes and remained stationed there. I also looked in the yards nearby. The man returned on foot, calling out a name. I asked him how I could best help.

He told me her name is Flash and his wife had seen her go into the alley behind the street where she was hit but then lost her.

On foot, I looked up and down alleys, side streets, in yards. The LP drove around looking as the man had told me Flash would never come to a male stranger but might come to a woman. Eventually I sent the LP to go get our kids. I kept walking, calling, searching, pleading for mercy and a positive outcome for poor Flash. I prayed and I begged: God please let poor Flash be okay. Please.

I never saw Flash again. After about an hour, when the LP had returned and driven around some more and reported he could not find the couple who had been on foot looking for her, the LP convinced me they must have found her and we should go home.

I cried the entire drive home, most of last evening and over night when I could not sleep. I remain a hot mess, stuck at work with my door closed and a pool of mascara on each cheek after having called all of the emergency vet clinics and even the vet clinics near that area that were open late enough that they might have taken Flash there. The staff at the front desk in each of those clinics were very kind. None had taken in a dog like Flash last night.

I’ve revisited the scene in my mind over and over again. I have played out countless “what if” scenarios, all of them agonizingly open ended as I have no idea what happened to poor Flash.

I do not know what else to do. Nor do I have any idea how to make peace with any of this.

The LP keeps reminding me it’s not my fault, I was not driving fast, I was not acting negligently. But that is not the issue. I was in an accident in which someone’s beloved pet and family friend got hurt, maybe died. I have no idea if Flash is alive or dead. Or how I could help, if at all.

What I have is a mess of feelings and thoughts I can neither reign in nor erase. With a heavy heart I continue to pray for Flash and her family. Above all I feel lost.


10 thoughts on “Flash

  1. I’m so sorry. We have a dog who escaped and ran after a cat straight across a busy street where she was struck by a truck. She had no lasting damage other than a little hip soreness. I hope for the same outcome for Flash ❤

    • That’s amazing she was okay. Big dogs tend to fair better. My rescue boxer was hit in the face and her jaw dislocated but apart from soreness and lots of abrasions she was okay with time and TLC. The not knowing is so hard too. I should have got their number or given mine but you know how it is when everyone is in shock.

  2. You had no control over what happened. A force greater than yourself caused your path to cross paths with Flash. You acted with compassion and dilligence. If I was in your shoes I would do EFT tapping to find peace and realign myself. And as I was tapping I would say “Even though I feel overwhelmed by guilt and remorse that I collided with Flash, I deeply and completely accept myself”. ❤ XOXO

  3. Oh sweetie, it happens and you did all the right things. Making yourself available to the aftermath shows amazing empathy for the owners and the dog. I’m sorry this happened. I know what an animal lover you are. My guess is that if Flash got away she is OK. Probably has one hell of a headache but I bet she turns up and is OK. Hugs, love.

  4. I am so sorry, I have been in a similar situation, down to the unknown outcome, it’s an awful anxiety producing kind of series of events. But based on all of the facts presented, I really believe that Flash is safe at home recovering with her owners. Hugs.

  5. Oh I’m so sorry. I completely understand why you feel this way. I would too. I echo the previous commenters sentiments – it was not your fault; it was an unfortunate accident. You did all that you could by stopping and searching and that shows what a kind person you are. I hope Flash is okay and getting hugs from his/her family right this second.

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