So much yet to do

I attended a mental health event last night. I’d bought the LP a ticket too. The keynote speaker told the stories of her childhood and adult life immersed in mental health conditions, mental illness, addictions. Yet she worked so hard and, ultimately, achieved unimaginable success. Still, the mental health issues are a part of her life and inform the healing path she walks.

The LP and I stared at each other afterward.

“What did you think?” I asked.

“It was good.”

“Yes” was all I could manage. Then, “she is so intense.”

“But it hit pretty close to home.”

Wham.

Just like that, he nailed it.

And for over an hour now, since first waking up this morning, all I am capable of doing is weeping. My heart is aching. My head is swimming. I feel broken, sad, invisible. Even now.

Then it hit me.

I have so much grieving yet to do.

So much healing.

So much.

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6 thoughts on “So much yet to do

  1. Hey luv, I’m here for you. I’m sure you are overwhelmed, as though you are in the ocean, adrift in huge waves, being tossed and pushed under. Take a breath, and know that it will slow down and become more manageable and less scary as you come to accept what is happening and figure out how to process it. You are safe, you are loved. ❤ XOXO

  2. Self awareness and self discovery are a beautiful thing, friend…opens up the world for us once we do…Glad to hear a possibly new healing journey is beginning…. ❤

  3. So. Much. (For me too.) It’s too bad that grieving and healing are not linear. Like why can’t we wake up one day x months or years later and be totally better? But alas. I think acknowledging that there is much grieving left to do is a great step towards healing. You’ll get there. You will. ❤️❤️❤️

  4. I wish grief was something you just plowed through. Instead it’s something we must carry. Some days it feels heavier than others. I am wishing you strength and hoping this wave of grief recedes sooner rather than later.

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