I have not been so fraught with symptoms of immune activation and distress since about April 2013 – after our third straight miscarriage in about 5 months and before the final three). 

At that time I could barely eat anything without my throat swelling, my IgE levels were ridiculous and I looked like a racoon from a severe case of allergic conjunctivitis and excema all around my eyes in reaction to I still don’t know what (other than the pregnancies – that was then and remained the common denominator for my immune system going haywire). 

I’ve been doing immunotherapy to desensitize my immune system to three of my worst everyday allergens and one seasonal one for the last 6 weeks. 

I am constantly getting sick, feel more exhausted than I thought possible and the depression is sneaking back in. I’m super stressed because there is so much to do at work and home and I’m operating at far less than full capacity thanks to the allergy therapy. My sense of failure is omnipresent. 

I know in the end this is supposed to make my life better. But right now it just sucks. 

11 thoughts on “Sick

  1. Gah. I am so sorry that the therapy is making things tough right now. I know they say the ends justify the means, but I just wish it wasn’t so exhausting for you. And, you are not a failure – taking care of yourself is very important and hopefully you will have good health going forward. xx.

  2. I’m so sorry you’re not feel well! Sounds like you’re on the right treatment path with your therapy though very sorry it’s been so rough. Hope it starts to show some real results soon and you start to feel better. It also sounds like you need a vacation. Hope you can’t take time off of work some time very soon and get some very much deserved rest. Do you have someone who can watch the kids for a few days? Maybe you and your hubby should get away somewhere just the two of you. Sleep in and just regenerate about. Sending you healthy, healing vibes. 💗

  3. Dude, I feel you. Treading water sucks. It’s exhausting. I have this new burst of energy now that my meds are working and I wish I could be there for you, just like you wished for me. Whatever else is going on, don’t cut corners on your self care right now–you can’t afford to. Are you sleeping? Are you eating (healthy and enough)? How are you managing your mental health? XOXO

    • Not sleeping great or enough. Though I did go to bed early on Monday. Trying to eat and aim for healthy but admit some days it’s just too much work. As for my mental health care: I’m not drinking wine! 😉 and I booked something for just LP and I for our anniversary in may so that’s something to which I can look forward I guess. Daily grind, being sick, work politics…. bleah.

      • Keep trying and do whatever you can to make your life easier so you have more down time. Get meal delivery services. Have groceries delivered. Whatever you can do to conserve energy and carve out time to rest so you can lower your stress/inflammation and allow your body to heal. You have to rest–the LP needs to be aware of how important that is so he can help you get more rest. Tell him he could end up like my husband with a bedridden, miserable wife–because her immune system revolted and her body gave up because of STRESS. Slow down before you crash. Love you dude, want you to feel better. Which also involves clearing all your emotional sh*t, but hopefully you can get a little stronger and more stable physically/mentally before you go there. But it’s part of getting well (which you know). XOXO

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