Parenting Fail

Yesterday the Miracle Toddler (no longer a toddler) called his paid caregiver a bad name. It had head in it. And some sort of cuss. 

Anyone who knows me will also know who is to blame for this vernacular. 

It isn’t his father. 

Damn it. I suck. 

I hereby promise to work harder at exorcising my cussing demons. 

I would say “farewell potty mouth” were I not a realist. 

Wish me luck. 

This will not be easy. 

Some Good News!

Baby A has been given a referral to a paediatric immunologist by my very kind immunologist (I don’t think they make humans kinder than her). 

At my appointment this week I mentioned his recent episode and she was very concerned. She said that kind of reaction in a baby is rare. Usually penicillin allergies result from recurrent exposure she said. So she asked if I would mind her referring him to a colleague of hers she trusts. 

Why would I mind?

She wrote the referral right then and there and walked it up to reception for faxing. I had wanted to ask but didn’t want to overstep; ordinarily in our system that kind of referral should come from the paediatrician. But I couldn’t get baby A in to see her until mid October when I called early last week. 

In the not so good news department I need more allergy testing. So I’m off any antihistamines for a week. I can already feel the symptoms nipping at me and it’s only been 2 days without the antihistamines. Gah.

In other news, I had a disastrous week at work. There were tears. But I righted a wrong I had committed that hurt the feelings of someone I care about. There may have been some masochism and retail therapy as I worked through my shame and anger about everything. But peace is mostly restored and a new leaf turned over. 

Time to move on. 

Thank goodness for that. 

Back to the good news. 

This week’s ugliness at work was interrupted by the most thoughtful care packages for my boys sent by my sister-friend. Every night and morning there has been a request by MT to play with his gift. He also asked me to say thank you from him yesterday morning – what a lovely way to start the day!

On that note I will wish you all a kind, peaceful, emergency-free long weekend!

Penicillin Allergy

Why didn’t I think of that?

Despite my more than modest knowledge of immunological issues, my greater than average experience with allergic and histamine reactions and my awareness that childhood allergic reactions often do not follow first time exposure but rather develop after repeated exposure to the allergen… I failed to see this diagnosis coming. And I let my little guy suffer needlessly all week. 

Baby A (now Toddler A) and I just came home from the local Children’s Hospital. Thankfully the third doctor he saw this week – in the Emergency on said Children’s Hospital – immediately recognized what I had overlooked. The nurses had rushed Baby A in with lightning speed after assessing his rash/hives and recurrent medical visits of late (after 13+ months of purely banal medical history since his emergency arrival on earth), for which I am also thankful. 

By the time I decided emergency medical attention was in order this morning the rash had reached fiery, raging proportions and the poor boy had endured several rounds of inconsolable distress. One thing was clear: something was terribly wrong and getting worse.

There is a small risk he could develop trouble swallowing or breathing so I am to watch him closely. If that happens we must go back to the emergency immediately. He is on medication now so I’m hoping things will improve from this point forward instead. 

I have accepted this unfortunate series of events as a reminder. Or two. 

First, never take anything for granted. 

Second, don’t assume that a seemingly late reaction isn’t related to something outside immediate temporal proximity. (We finished the amoxi.cillin Monday night.)

On the good news front? The tooth that had gotten infected as it erupted looks good. It has not fully emerged but appears healthy and is not likely to need anything further beyond patience. 

Will I be glad when this wild ride ends. 

New Year, New Milestones

The smallest light of my life (his mega-watt smiles could win over the stiffest of the stiff upper lipped) baby Azulito said his first word today according to his Daddy. 

What word you ask?

Mum. 

I was sceptical at first but have decided to roll with it. 

He is also moving – albeit incrementally and very slowly – as he has figured out how to crawl. He is still pretty wobbly and not getting very far before he face plants on the rug in exhaustion. Still. Movement is movement. 

Happy New Year, baby A!

Words no mother wants to hear

“Your baby is hungry.”

I really like baby Azulito’s paediatrician. She is affirming, soft-spoken, generous, kind, reassuring and the antithesis of alarmist.  But today she said those four words that struck me as I imagine a knife entering my left eye might feel. My heart sank. 

Baby A has dropped from the 97th to the 35th percentile for weight using the WHO chart for breastfed infants (adjusted for his early arrival). His height continues to be above average (90th I think, that dimmed in the face of the shocking weight percentile change). 

This has happened despite my efforts to nurse more (and sleep even less). I’ve doubled my dose of Domperi.done. I’ve made and eaten lactation cookies (Booby Num Nums as I like to call them). I stopped pumping and whip out the breast for baby to enjoy more than the recommended number of feedings each day (he never says no, typical male right?) as I have been afraid he wasn’t gaining enough weight. 

Ugh. 

Thankfully when the paediatrician examined baby A today he was his usual never-stop-moving self, meeting and exceeding milestones in every other respect. Except weight. (Darn it!) She said no matter how much I feed him he is going to gobble up and use every calorie. He wants to see the world. Not now but right now. 

She predicts he will be crawling and walking early. He is already scooting himself around on his back using his feet like some sort of reverse-crab, trying to sit up on his own and standing at any opportunity (he can’t stay upright whether sitting or standing without help or something to hold onto yet). This kid isn’t even five months old (and his adjusted age would be just over 4 months). Slow down little buddy!

We had this problem with the MT too but not this early. Even though baby A’s doctor expressed concern today over his weight and urged me to start feeding him solids daily now once she saw his activity level and physical development (which she said is that of a six-month old) she said she understood how this has happened. All the more reason to start getting this kid to consume more calories whenever possible. 

I am grateful that she turned it into an action plan. It was hard to hear her tell me my baby is hungry. The sense of failure swooped in (I need drugs to make enough milk for him. And now even that isn’t enough…) and threatened to take up residence. 

Instead I am trying to kick it in the cajones and send it packing. I am a good mummy. My baby is healthy. Busy. Eager to experience all life has to offer. His hunger is just one facet of that. And it’s fixable. With some more effort hopefully we can keep him gaining not only length but weight too. 

Wish us luck!